I had this too. I finally added other identities like relationships and hobbies, especially after a job problem in my early thirties. As you discovered, it's not wise to put all your eggs in one basket. Diversification's not just for investments.
FWIW, I've read a big problem men have is our entire identities tend to get tied to our work, so if we get demoted or fired we have identity crises. So (despite not being a man) you may be fortunate in confronting this now.
I could pull a quote I loved from nearly every paragraph. “I’m (god help me) a normie” made me giggle. Your growth over the last year has been really cool to see. It’s a privilege to call you my friend :)
I relate to this a lot. I'm five years out of college now, and it was a pretty rough transition coming to terms with no longer being the gifted kid — we receive so much subliminal programming that tells us to equate our academic performance (and for me, my artistic performance as well) with our worth. But we simply have to find our own self worth out in the world without the validation of external forces! Best of luck on your journey — sounds like you're on the way there :)
"I've decided the second-healthiest view of the self is to have as many identities as possible. Holding many identities enables us to take less of a hit when one of those identities has to be dropped."
I never really thought of it this way. I love this perspective.
Very powerful piece of writing! Thank you so much for having the courage to share your experiences here! And applause for finding your middle ground! ✍️👏💕
I had this too. I finally added other identities like relationships and hobbies, especially after a job problem in my early thirties. As you discovered, it's not wise to put all your eggs in one basket. Diversification's not just for investments.
FWIW, I've read a big problem men have is our entire identities tend to get tied to our work, so if we get demoted or fired we have identity crises. So (despite not being a man) you may be fortunate in confronting this now.
“Devestatingly average” I love that. Thank you for sharing this post and your perspective. 🩵
I could pull a quote I loved from nearly every paragraph. “I’m (god help me) a normie” made me giggle. Your growth over the last year has been really cool to see. It’s a privilege to call you my friend :)
I relate to this a lot. I'm five years out of college now, and it was a pretty rough transition coming to terms with no longer being the gifted kid — we receive so much subliminal programming that tells us to equate our academic performance (and for me, my artistic performance as well) with our worth. But we simply have to find our own self worth out in the world without the validation of external forces! Best of luck on your journey — sounds like you're on the way there :)
"I've decided the second-healthiest view of the self is to have as many identities as possible. Holding many identities enables us to take less of a hit when one of those identities has to be dropped."
I never really thought of it this way. I love this perspective.
Very powerful piece of writing! Thank you so much for having the courage to share your experiences here! And applause for finding your middle ground! ✍️👏💕